When living with ADHD, along with all of the unique symptoms that most ADHD-ers deal with, we also have a lot of idiosyncratic feelings and beliefs about ourselves. A child with ADHD receives an unbelievable amount of negative feedback during important developmental stages, compared to neurotypical kids. This can create huge problems with self-esteem, grief and self-judgment. Which, sadly, creates a lifelong inner critic, as we internalise a narrative about ourselves based on all of the unkind reactions from others, and rejection sensitivity, that comes with ADHD.
As a psychotherapist diagnosed later in life with ADHD, I know the importance of affirmations, and the need to challenge and, ideally silence, our inner critic. The science behind repetition of affirmations is not just about giving ourselves a nice little pep talk. It’s about clinically proven neuroplasticity – rewiring the messages in our brains that have so far been too cruel, for too long.
Here is a list of affirmations that are important, may resonate, and are necessary reminders of how tough we are on ourselves, and how much we need to change that negative self-talk. Pick what works for you, and leave behind the rest. We always hear the phrase “consistency is key”, but with an ADHD brain, it’s super important to forgive yourself when you are inconsistent, because that’s just another part of ADHD life! SELF-COMPASSION is actually what is key. If you remember your affirmations, great. If you don’t, that’s ok too! You’ll get back to them when you’re ready. You also get to use reminder tools, like a post it note of affirmations on your mirror, or on a notepad by your morning coffee, or an app or alarm that reminds you. WHATEVER tool works for you, is the right tool.
AFFIRMATIONS:
If my mind feels chaotic, I am still capable of regaining focus.
I am patient with myself, even if things don’t go as planned.
It is ok to take breaks. Rest is vital and necessary. I do not need to justify being tired.
If I did not physical exert myself today, I am still allowed to be exhausted, because I have a busy brain that can get overloaded. I am not lazy. Science backs this. I don’t need scientific validation, but it is still the objective truth.
I have the ability to ground myself, no matter how flustered I feel right now.
Rest is part of my growth, and rest as self-care is my right.
I can create systems and routines that support me, and they don’t need to look like anybody elses. If it works for me, that is all that matters.
It is ok if I get distracted or lost, this is normal and I give myself compassion.
I celebrate small victories. Each task completed is a win, no matter how big or small. ADHD does not care about the size of the task. I have defeated a sense of paralysis and I am proud of myself.
Every day, in every way, I am learning and growing.
I am proud of how far I have come.
My future is hopeful and exciting, because everything I need is within me.
I have overcome all challenges in my life so far, and always will.
Every day in every way, I am becoming the person I am meant to be.
My energy is a gift. When channelled I do amazing things. I will find tools to help me channel my powerful energy.
Everybody thinks differently, and the way I think is unique, valid, and worthy of love and celebration.
I am a fountain of amazing ideas.
My creativity will find the right outlet when it’s ready.
I am not “too much”. I am exactly enough for the right people. I am a delight to them.
I deserve happiness and success, and the path that takes me there does not need to look like anyone elses.
I am valuable, loveable, and do not need to mask.
My tribe is waiting for me. Those who are meant for me will be attracted to me exactly as I am.
My ADHD does not define me. I embrace my unique self.
I am passionate when I enjoy things, and I honour this about myself.
One percent of a task is better than zero percent of a task. I am progressing. Slow and steady wins the race.
I do things in my own time, and in my own way. The only right way is the way that works for me.
I treat myself with the kindness and compassion I would give to someone I love.
I give myself the empathy I would give to a friend who is doing their best.
I trust that I am making progress, even when it does not feel like it.
Difficult days are part of the journey, and I trust that I am making progress. All sunshine is followed by rain, This is part of life’s journey.
Tools, hacks and fidget toys are not crutches. They are support, and everyone deserves support. We support the ones we love.
I have an amazing ability to think differently and unconventionally, that brings innovative solutions and creative ideas. This is part of my magic.
I am exactly where I need to be, in this very moment.
I do not need to justify my feelings. My feelings are valid and not everyone deserves an explanation.
I am discerning about who I share my feelings with.
I an not a problem to be solved, or justified.
I do not need to apologise for things out of my control.
I am worthy of peace and calm, because I am enough.
I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.
I am not a diagnosis. I am a child of the universe and deserve all the beauty that life has to offer.
I tell my inner critic to go away. “Thank you for your input, I know you are trying to protect me, but I’ve got this, and I don’t need you anymore”.
So, remember, only take what resonates and discard the rest. You get to amend these affirmations into terminology that feels more applicable to you. If these affirmations inspire you to write some of your own, that feel more personal, please do! It’s all about adjusting things to fit your life, exactly as it is.
Another massive part of rewiring our negative thinking and inner critic with ADHD, especially when it comes to judgement around our productivity or focus, is to start our day with a simple morning routine. If you feel that you would like to start your day more regulated and focused, I have created a FUN, 3 step, neuroscience-based morning routine Worksheet, that is affordable and is yours to keep forever as a downloadable PDF. See link below, and enjoy!